Monday, October 1, 2012

Life's many blessings

Its the beginning of a new month and so much to be thankful for.... I have a husband that works his butt off and may or may not get the appreciation he deserves at work, but boy do we love and appreciate him. I have 3 beautifully blessed children...Big E is growing in leaps in bounds recently. Not only is he excelling in everything I teach him in school, but now as a cub scout he's showing me just how much his love of outdoors and nature is a God send. Mad is a little bit of a toot for her age, I believe my mother in law has the right nickname for her "Pistol Posey." God love her though, she's a shinning star on in the darkness of any rough day we have. Not only is she a comedian, but she has a personality that could make anyone happy to be in the presence of. Baby GAP, he's so different from his sibling, but the way he communicates with everyone is the sweetest thing. He is just growing up so quickly he is super active and into everything, but on the other hand he could spend hours in my lap just loving on mommy. God truely has blessed us with a wonderful family. I also have an amazing support system, my parents and sister go above and beyond to help out with the kids whenever they can. Though my in-laws live far they could not be forgotten, they have helped us in so many ways the list is endless. God has blessed with with family all over the U.S. and those distant relatives that I have seen on a few times in my life have become very special to me after losing my grandfather this September. I feel sometimes I take for grant what blessings God has given me, I may get caught up in the things that just can't change or life itself. I sometimes feel lost knowing that I have things I want to contribute to in life, to my family, and so much more...but with 3 kids it seems like a dream. I hope and pray I can one day find my place in life, I know I'm a wife and mother, but I want to be more! I want to give more.... Thank you God, for I am not as gracious as I should be! You have blessed myself and my family immensely.

Childhood memories vs. real life

Family what does it mean? to you? to me? to them? fam·i·ly   [fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] Show IPA noun, plural fam·i·lies, adjective noun 1. a. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not: the traditional family. b. a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for: a single-parent family. 2. the children of one person or one couple collectively: We want a large family. 3. the spouse and children of one person: We're taking the family on vacation next week. 4. any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins: to marry into a socially prominent family. 5. all those persons considered as descendants of a common progenitor. When I read these definitions I thought well as a child I saw my family as def. #1, mainly focusing on the social aspect, then I think of my family now. The definition that describes us best would be...#4... Just a few summers back I lost one of the most important people in my life, my Aunt and God-mother, Cinci. Not only was she an all around amazing woman, she had so many life struggles she over came as a single mother. As a young girl I always looked up to her and knew she loved every moment of her life no matter how hard it was on her. I feel like she was a thread that held our family together, without her...not only is there a hole in my heart(missing her), but there's a hole in our family. Sometimes death can bring a family together, but in this case I think it did the exact opposite....since my aunt has past I see my family alot less than I had ever expected. Growing up my extended family was more than an extended family to me. I felt as though my cousins, aunts, and uncles were part of my immediate family. Holidays were something to look forward to, the time we would all take to spend as a family even when we lived far away. The bonding between cousins of all ages, the love and compassion we had for one another.... Then we grew up.... I believe I was in high school when I opened my eyes and realized, my childhood memories with my extended family were just memories. No longer holidays to look forward to, we were all growing up. As each cousin would get married, they would drift from the family. By the time I became a mom, I felt as though my only family was those that lived close. As my own family has grown and the years have passed, I feel as though my extended family is what I like to call a "Facebook Family". I love each and everyone of them, but if I'm not on Facebook regularly I have no idea who my family is and how they are doing. Communication isn't important anymore, I've never felt more disconnect from my "Family." Doesn't matter where you live within Texas or not you are still my family, you could love miles down the road or hundreds of miles away and I still think of you regularly. What has the world come to that the word family means so little. That a family that was once closely knit together, and looked forward to holidays and special occasions to spend with one another, is so distant? I don't really know my family anymore, unless I want to spend hours looking at their Facebook page. Sadly, my children have no idea what they are missing out on. From engagements, to weddings, to pregnancies, to births, to injuries....I feel as though definition #4 best describes us. We don't really know each other we are just related by blood.... Though I have to say, I know some of my family enjoys getting together, my family just isn't part of their get together's. For some reason when God made the choice to not have my parents have more than 2 kids, it meant that in the future our family would be small. The whole idea of a extended family would dissolve, and we would have to hope that through the grapevine we would stay up to date on how the rest of the family was doing. Its a great disservice to have such a small family, my kids have no cousins that they get to play with, I have no cousins that I can compare parenting stories with and bond with. For those of you who have kept in contact with me even if its rare, "Thank You"...for you really make us feel as though we aren't "Black Sheeps." I've wanted to share this for a long time, take offense if you want, or just read it and know that...."I miss each and everyone of my cousins, aunts, and uncles!" I long for my children's childhood to be as mine was.... I miss all of you very much! To the family I've losted... Mimi, Bampi, Cinci, Kerry Patrick, Grandpa Fisch I miss you too!
The 3 Musketeers! Jordan, myself, and Kerry Patrick