Breaks my heart

Received the dreaded phone call about 30 minutes ago, Grampa Fisch has passed away. About 2 weeks ago he went into the hospital for numerous reasons, and went down hill from there. They had to put netting wall around him, he had Dementia and was beginning to get so disoriented he would swing at everyone. He also had to wear mitts on his hands 24/7 so he didn't pull his IV lines out. I went with Baby GAP to visit him twice in the hospital and so saddened by his state of mind. I think what hurts the most is knowing how confused he may have been and not able to communicate his frustrations with us. Tuesday night they were able to get his meds regular to calm him down enough to have him moved to hospice care facility. I took the kids and saw him yesterday, Big E was very uncomfortable with the whole thing, he and Mad blew him a kiss good-bye. I told Big E before bed that I didn't think Great Grampa would make it though the night..he didn't seem bothered by the fact. It hurt me to know that he just didn't get it, I wanted him to understand but at the age of 6 I know that a lot to expect. I think what I'm most bothered by and feeling the need to get my feelings out is the fact that my dad's family has nothing planned for a memorial or prayer service here. They are having everything up in Austin, Minnesota, I wish I could be there. I can't imagine not having any service down here in Texas when Grampa had been here most of his life, raising my dad and his brother. How do we say good-bye and have closure when we are ignoring the fact that he's passed. Grampa Fisch was my last grampa, my mom's dad passed away when I was 4, and her mom when I was 14. So Gramma Fisch is still here and the only grandparent I have left. I'm hoping to figure out a way to have an inexpensive service where friends from all over Austin can come and tell grampa good-bye, I pray that I can figure this out. My family and myself need closure.

In loving memory of Edward Fisch, we love you grampa and will miss you soooo much!